Monday, 22 December 2014

I Could Pee on This

This book, a collection of poetry "by cats" by humour-journalist Francesco Marciuliano, is not one to which I will devote much discussion. Much like the previous post's book, this was bought because of Secret Santa, albeit here I bought it expecting to be able to bestow it upon a friend who has an almost unhealthy predisposition toward all things cat-related (I have three of these, and planned to give the book to whomever I saw first). Sadly, all three of such felinist acquaintances of mine left Sheffield before I saw them while I had the book with me, and so I was left with a book of cat poetry. It's quite short, so literally in the time since I wrote the last post I've just been for a leisurely toilet sitting and read it then. Probably won't give it to any of them now - unless I can be certain that they do not also read this blog from time to time. Nobody wants a book that has accompanied a friend's turd.
   Despite my fairly ambivalent attitude toward cats, I seem to have read lots of books attempting to enter their psyche this year (one through Japanese literature and one through artsy satire). Perhaps I am gaining a subconscious affinity for them by spending too much procrastinatory time in the corners of the internet devoted to gifs of their failings. I probably am, but who isn't these days?
   Anyway, sorry, the book. It's alright.
   If you find human-verbal constructed interpretations of the mindsets and internal monologues of cats amusing, you'll enjoy this, but only about as much as the average stint of scrolling through funny online cat material anyway. The book is pretty much redundant in that respect, except as a present for someone who you know likes amusing cat-related stuff, which was my intended use for it, and while it did vaguely entertain me as I casually emptied my bowels earlier, it did so for less than half an hour, an infinitesimal fraction of the time one could invest in laughing at silly cats on the internet if one were so inclined. Not to mention that the latter is effectively free whereas the book goes for an inexplicable £8.99 recommended retail price. 
   If you're looking for a token gift for someone who does like funny cat-related stuff, then this is, while probably far from the best among the plethora of choices you have, not a bad choice; as long as you don't repeat my mistakes of rendering it ungiftable. I now find myself with a book of cat poetry that I will never re-read and cannot really give away given the situations in which I read it. Ah well. Sometimes that's just life.


Edit [April 2015]: this book was resident in the bathroom of our student house, next to a pair of lavatory trivia books (you know the type). Following a recent house party, it has gone missing, presumed stolen by one of the party-goers. If you're reading this, I unflinchingly forgive you immediately, because, as the rest of this post made clear, it wasn't a book I really desired to retain, and also, it was probably covered in micro-flecks of excreta from spending several months within three feet of our toilet. I also have a reserved sort of admiration for minor inconsequential antisocial acts such as this, so well done you for stealing a book of cat poetry from the bathroom during a party that had so much else to do at it. Enjoy. You could pee on it.
Edit [July 2017]: it occurs to me now that one of my housemates could quite plausibly also have thrown it away, for all the reasons already cited.

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