the Will to Change

This book by bell hooks is a reflection on masculinity, more specifically how our grotesque normative patriarchy renders masculinity a force that resists the giving & receiving of love, thereby stunting the hearts of men & driving violence against women. Men are discouraged from getting (or staying) in touch with their genuine feelings, never learn to express themselves healthily, never develop appropriate faculties for managing their insecurities, so it spills out as hostility. It is with a true sense of hope & love that feminist theory as here beckons men to abandon such rigid & non-life-giving patterns of being & be brave enough to become vulnerable, which is an essential step on the road to becoming gentle & grounded. This book shows more clearly than anything else I've read or seen that patriarchal norms damage men arguably more than women - true, it is still women who will bear the brunt of the aggression spilling over from un-grasped emotions, but at least those women have stable & authentic inner lives. An absolute must-read for all men.*

* Yes, all men, I said it. Though as is oft the case, the people who most need to read this book are probably among the least likely to, because it's feminist theory & real men don't read that shit. Well, real men barely read anyway, right