Notes from Underground

This book is one of the earlier works of renowned Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky, but boy is it a banger. Even being as it is essentially a novel, it manages to elucidate an existential philosophy more potent than anything I've read - its protagonist (unnamed, generally simply called "the Underground Man") striking an uncomfortable balance between the existentialisms of both Kierkegaard & Camus and the cyncism of Diogenes.

   So what's the book about? I'll hint at this startingly by quoting the opening lines: "I am a sick man. I am a spiteful man." The Underground Man is a person of insane degrees of self-absorption, utterly unlikeable & yet thoroughly compelling. He lives in squalour, obviously by choice as he is not unintelligent, and seems to revel in the humiliation he suffers passively at the hands of a society around him that seems to be able to simply get on with its business without thinking too much about it. Social status is a particular itch in the Underground Man's side; he resents those who have it for merely having it, and yet he also resents those who lack it for wanting it for the intellectual weakness of desiring something so vapid. He seems to revel in his own humiliation, and yet deeply hates those whom he has perceived to have humiliated him - at one point, a military officer bumps into him in a crowded room and seems not to notice; the Underground Man stews on this for two full years, before deciding to take his revenge - he buys an expensive suit, walks along a street he knows the officer often walks down, and deliberately fails to move out of the way when the man is about to bump into him.* Later in the story, he encounters Liza, a prostitute, with whom he has an authentically heartfelt conversation, then, realising the foolishness of his own vulnerability, he goes out of his way to monologue to her about how miserable her life will be, inevitably, with the narration-stated intention of causing her exquisite suffering so that she may become as enlightened as he. The whole relationship with Liza is what ties up the plot and leads to the murky, quavering note of reflective repentance at the end of the novel. But I don't want to spoil too much.

   This is the first Dostoyevsky I've ever read, and it's made me wonder what took me so long. Man was a psychological and philosophical genius. This book is not a mere novel - it's a mirror. As despicable as the Underground Man is, through his narration you can easily see parts of yourself reflected in him, and the prose is thorough enough that you can even glean practical clues as to how to avoid wasting your life in such ways through it. This book changed me. I would recommend anyone with a love of literature to come to this novel for what it is - and for anyone with an existential itch to come to this book for what it could be.

* In reality, this takes multiple attempts; every time the Underground Man is about to bump into the officer, he deferently moves out of the way, but eventually he plucks up the courage to carry the task through to fulfilment - and he is happy! For a few days or so.